Merriton

“Wanted to thank ya for helpin’ me.” Elvis stood on Randy’s porch. “This here’s Mary.” He held out a rope to Randy. Attached to the other end was a small goat. She was almost an adult, but no longer a kid. “Her momma’s momma was one o’ the goats I got when old Arbitus died. I bought most o’ the flock, but summav ‘em were stolen before I could take care of ‘em.” Randy looked at the rope, unsure of what to do. Sierra was behind him at the doorway.

He finally answered, “I don’t know what I’d do with a goat, Elvis.” Elvis crinkled his brow. “If somebody offers you a goat, you take it, boy!” Randy took the rope, but the goat stayed where she was. “It’s not like Mary’s some big prize. She was the sickly one of the litter this year and it’s lucky she lived as long as she did. You just keep her. I gotta do somethin’ ’cause my computer works just like new.”

After handing over the goat, he reached into the inner pocket of his jean jacket. “I was thinkin’ ’bout whatch you said about backups. I figure if there’s a fire, I’ll be more worried ’bout savin’ Vesta than the computer, so this should stay with you.” He pulled out a large floppy disk and handed it to Randy. Randy smiled at it. “You made a backup?” Elvis looked at him gruffly, “Yeah. Just because it looks like I’m not listenin’ doesn’t mean I’m not listenin’.” Randy nodded, “And you want to store it offsite with me! That’s really smart, Elvis! There are a ton of companies that haven’t thought that much ahead!” Elvis adjusted his cowboy hat. “So you’ll keep it safe?” Randy nodded. “Sure.” Elvis nodded in return and walked away without another word.

Randy and Sierra stood on their porch with their newfound goat and watched him leave. Randy was the first to speak, “That was weird.” Sierra nodded and took the goat. The two of them headed down the porch stairs. “Where are you going?” Sierra walked toward the corral, but turned toward Randy. “I’m taking Mary to the corral. We really shouldn’t corral her, but I don’t want to lose her.” Randy sprinted to catch up to her. “What are we going to do with her? What do we feed her?” Sierra looked at him and then kept walking. “Well, goats don’t eat everything, but I’m pretty sure she’ll eat this grass we have overgrowing the area. I just have to check to make sure we don’t have any poisonous plants around.”

Randy followed her as she put Mary in the corral and continued to follow as she searched around their property. “What are we looking for?” Sierra shrugged, “I don’t know. We had a goat die when she ate the rhubarb leaves, but I’m looking for oleander, too. It’s pretty toxic and I know it can survive in this area.” Randy shook his head. “You had a goat?”

Sierra stopped walking and looked at him. “We had four goats the whole time I was growing up until the city took away our animal permit. Randy? Didn’t you know that? We sold goat’s milk soap to the shops on the Haight the whole time I was a kid, remember?” Randy looked at his wife like he had never seen her before. “We’ve been married 17 years and you never knew this?” Randy shook his head. “How did you keep goats in San Francisco?”

Sierra continued looking for poisonous plants. “You know how my parents live next to that grocery store? It used to be a little farm. All the tourists thought it was quaint that there was a small farm in the middle of the Haight-Ashbury district. We grew vegetables to eat and kept goats. They don’t like to be penned up like that, but we were able to make it work. When they took away our permit, they nearly bankrupted my parents. That grocery store chain was really interested in our farm, though. We never knew that we could make enough money to send me to college and keep my parents for the rest of their lives just by selling the land. I don’t see anything. Do you?” Randy shook his head. “I wouldn’t know what to look for.”

He followed her as she searched the perimeter of their property. “What are we going to do with a goat, Sierra?” She turned and looked at him. “It doesn’t matter what I do with the goat. The big question here is what are you going to do with yourself? Ever since Kevin left you’ve just been moping around that big house and reading RSS.” Randy was taken aback. “I was just enjoying not having to do anything. I’m not moping.” She turned around and continued looking at the plants on their property. “You’re moping.”

Randy followed her around in silence until he finally was able to talk. “I don’t know what I’m going to do next. I thought maybe I’d do something with my hands… a physical job… like be a lumberjack or something.” Sierra shook her head. “A lumberjack? Do you even know what lumberjacks do? They don’t cut down trees with axes anymore.” Randy followed her and she swiped at the vegetation. Randy shrugged. “I said I don’t know. We’re in a different situation this time. I don’t HAVE to do anything. I could just be a crazy rich hermit if I want. We have more money than we could spend in our lifetime, so I thought I’d just hang around here and relax.”

Sierra shook her head. “Randy, you’re not the kind of person who can just do nothing. You’re always doing something. It’s hard for me to watch you like this and it doesn’t help that I don’t have anything to do either. At least, now, I have a goat.” Randy looked at the large, floppy disk in his hand. “I think I’m going to go see if I can get a Commodore 64 on eBay.”

A special thank you to Matthew Strebe and his touching story of the day he lost his goat to oleander.