Merriton

“I didn’t let them have any sugar this morning. Eggs and bacon for breakfast.” John’s hands were full of suitcases of clothes and toiletries and the kids hands were full of the toys he had given them while they were with him. A.S. responded to their favorites that they held up for her to see, “Oh, Santa was very generous this year.”

John dropped the suitcases inside the door, just as he had done for the last four years of their divorce. Their littlest was in kindergarten now and it made him close his eyes with the grief of only having a couple of weekends a month to watch them grow.

“How’s Tort doing?” Her father had been sick over the Christmas holiday and John could smell the stench of old waft out of the house. A.S. gave the particulars of Tortimer’s health, but avoided the big answer of how she was going to continue taking care of him in his declining days. “He’s sleeping now, but I’m sure he’ll wake up as soon as he hears the kids.” She glanced toward the room that had once been the nursery, conveniently located next to the master bedroom.

Once the kids were out of earshot, A.S. asked, “You didn’t let that Jesus Freak near them, did you?” John clenched his jaw and didn’t reply. She hissed in a whisper, “If you did, you KNOW I will hear about it.” John shook his head and answered, “No, Kit Kat wasn’t there.” He looked around to see if the children could hear them. “You know, we been divorced for goin’ on four years now. I can date whoever I want.”

A.S. folded her arms and shook her head. “I don’t want my kids around ANOTHER Jesus Freak. It’s bad enough they go to church with you every Sunday. I don’t want them thinking that women are inferior or that it’s alright to hate people just because they’re different.” John pulled on her arm and took her outside of the house into the chilly sunshine. He closed the door behind him and whispered, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with Kit Kat.”

A.S. laughed, “Nothing wrong? She’s fat! I saw her in the grocery store last week and she’s at least two hundred pounds.” John cringed at her words. It had been the first thing he had thought about her when he first saw her. “Well, lovin’ a good lookin’ woman didn’t work out so well for me, did it? Maybe I like a woman who isn’t all worried about that stuff.”

His ex-wife poked him in the chest, “You didn’t lose me because I’m hot. You lost me because you got all obsessed with God. You know she’s not as religious as you think. She hasn’t been to church once. Not any of the churches. The Relief Society President visited her and she said she wasn’t gonna be comin’ to church.” A.S. whispered, “She practically told her to take her name off the register.”

John shook his head. He had wondered why she hadn’t been to church. At first he had just chalked it up to moving into her new house, but week after week had gone by without her presence in Sacrament. Hearing that she had rebuffed the Relief Society President felt like a jab of the knife. “You can’t call ‘er a Jesus Freak one minute and then be angry at ‘er for not goin’ to church the next.”

A.S. stomped her feet and the sound of it echoed through the porch. As she ranted, John lead her off the porch and by the car so the children couldn’t hear. “All I’m sayin’ is that she spent so much time in New York that she’s not one of us anymore. If she was, she woulda smiled and let the Relief Society President in and made some STUPID excuse about why she hadn’t been to church yet. Even I’m not so dumb as to ostracize the Relief Society President!”

“Keep your voice down.” John pointed at the window. Their oldest, John Jr., was looking out the window, his sad eyes surveying every movement of their fight. Every bone in his body wanted to take A.S. into his arms and cover her with kisses. That was how they had solved fights for their thirteen years of marriage, but now that A.S. had divorced him, he was powerless.

A.S. smiled at her weary eyed son and waved at him, but hissed at John, “All I’m sayin’ is that you’re a big hypocrite. According to your OWN religion, you’re still married to me. Dating her is a SIN, John.” Her words sliced through him and he held onto the car for support. “So, you’re sayin’ you want a temple divorce?”

She looked at him, broken, and dropped her hands dramatically. “You’re so stupid, John. I don’t care about that.” John felt as if the ground was unstable. “You just said you did.” She shook her head, “No, John. I said you’re a hypocrite. I keep thinking that this religious thing is just a phase you’re going through, but it just gets worse and worse every year.”

John held up his hands, confused. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. I was always Mormon. It was you who fell away from the faith.” His ex-wife shook her head and turned back toward the house, defeated, “No, I didn’t. I’m still the same. You just got so obsessed with God and church duties that you started neglecting us.”

John followed her toward the house, but she climbed the porch and closed the door before he could reply.